Scheduling sex with your spouse on the calendar might sound foreign, but the reality is that t is not every romp that happens unplanned. ‘’There’s a belief in our culture that sex is supposed to be spontaneous, but it almost never is” says Megan Fleming, PhD, a New York- based sex and relationship therapist. ‘’If you’re married, have kids, or just lead a busy life, spontaneous sex life is more likely not available to you.’’
Sex scheduling by spouses, is not one of the commonest activity that they expect to indulge in as grown-ups. While it sounds like an act on a whiteboard, in the marriage of an unhappy partner whose sex life has lost some thrill, going through those emotions feels clinical. To this group of people, it is like engaging a prostitute; especially, if one has to pick a specific time to show up, undress and copulate. This really should not be an issue since it will get the job done with intoxicating love making, and you both feel sexually satisfied.
Scheduling love making is a very catchy stuff which most times, is recommended for couples that are having issues with mismatched sex drives. This occures most often after the honey moon phase. Fran Walfish, a psychotherapist based in Beverly Hills, advises scheduling intimacy for couples who have kids under 10years old, and ones who struggle with different sexual appetites and stressful jobs. ‘’ They put more of their libido into their careers and work; when they come home, they’re overcome with exhaustion,’’ she says.
Scheduling intercourse is actually worth its salt in every love making calendar notification because, it helps to rehabilitate wedlock, you get laid, gets you off and puts you right back on that tiresome pet wheel you call life. Let truth be told, if your spouse happens to live in another city, you have unknowingly scheduled sex. If you have two busy jobs on different timing, you have schedule sex. If you are mother /father, it won’t be possible for you to have intercourse until they go to sleep, empty dishwasher before going to bed, then you already schedule copulation.
Another very good reason why scheduling sex is fundamental is because, often times, life tends to creep in on us unknowingly. There is a tendency even in mature relationships to have a balance in daily activities like work, socializing, exercise regimen, volunteering, taking care of children etc. Engaging in this; day in, day out, will drain one of necessary energy which can make intercourse unappealing. With a “timetable” of when to make love, this expectation heightens the pleasure. Get rid of the motion that tells you that only unplanned sex is good. Being in a committed relationship means you can copulate whenever you want, even if you need extra time. This does not have to be a problem. Making an effort to schedule sex means, there won’t be nervousness of whether she wants to get laid by you or not; this will be charming, fun and will definitely end in pleasurable love making.
If you happen to be struggling with your sex life, the following will probably help out – it can really be hard to imagine living our lives without any form of plan such as not knowing when to go to work. What time to take the children to school, time to eat or attending to other events hence, there is need to schedule nearly everything that are important to us.
Sex schedule in marriages allows couples to be on the same page in advance as it removes the risk of being rejected when initiated. Instead, when initiation takes place, intimacy will follow without struggling.
Scheduling amplifies the anticipation; there is no excuse of holding back feelings and fantasies about your spouse when you have intercourse scheduled on the calendar. For the partner with higher sex libido, anticipation is off the hook, while for the spouse with low sex drive, it will give them enough time to mentally prepare themselves ahead of time.
If love making is planned, it will be easy for you to get playful and physical throughout the day, as you use your day time to get ready for your partner. Foreplay is a major in the success of sexual intimacy.
Sex becomes more than just a few minutes act in the bedroom when you are intentional in advance about your sexual closeness. It becomes a pleasurable process as a lifestyle will naturally begin to positively affect your marriage even outside the bedroom.
‘’Sex can become intoxicating,’’ Walfish says. ‘’ Once it’s scheduled, it becomes a part of your regular life. A lot of people can develop a desire for it once it becomes weekly. Then, they miss it when it’s not there. It has an intoxicating effect, like alcohol.’’
‘’Scheduled hookups can lead to unscheduled good times.’’ So, do not get skeptical about feeling turned on by planning when to be laid. Planning does not mean it cannot be hot. ‘’If you’re doing it right, there’s bound to be anticipation,’’ says Fleming. You won’t be able to wait for next time as it becomes a turn on and help build marital life.