THE FRESHERS SYNDROME.

nigerian-studentsFor everything, there is a time. A time to hate and a time to love, a time to wake and a time to sleep, a time live and a time to die. At the University of Lagos, it would seem that there are times as well. This time, as our able bodied young (and some old) men on Campus would have it, is the time to; ‘catch them young’.

I realise that you may be a bit clueless as to what I’m blubbering on about so let me break it down for you. With every New Year, comes a new semester. With every new semester, comes a new crop of fresh, preppy, hopeful and somewhat innocent young students (commonly called ‘Freshers’). Among these students, are the pretty girls who want to date guys already in ‘Uni’ and have dreams of hearts and butterflies and teddy bears for Valentines. It would seem, as ‘fate’ may have it, that majority of these girls get their wishes granted, every year. Amazing isn’t it? Every single year, these people find love.

From previous articles, we have determined that majority of the boys and men that school at the University of Lagos are primitive, adventurous and completely inconsiderate, so while the young girls dream of hearts and butterflies, these male species dream of more gory things than we care to imagine. They are self absorbed and always ready to brag of their conquests.

As I wandered about Campus, I heard young lads telling ladies tales of how beautiful they look in the mornings and how they stayed up all night thinking of them (Oh what poetry!). I heard clueless little girls tell their friends of two guys who were fighting over them (Knights jousting for the Lady’s hand perhaps?). I heard boys (men too, unfortunately) placing bets on who could ‘do’ someone before two weeks was up. Basically, I heard it all.

In some ways, I wish I could tell these young little angels that the first year of University is the year where one should get accustomed to the school and its surroundings (like that is so hard to figure out), or that contrary to what they have or have not been told, they cannot possibly be the ‘most beautiful’ girls in the world (I wonder how all of them could possibly be ‘most’ beautiful). The truth is, I do long to tell them so many things. But alas, I cannot. Where has it been seen that a fly spoke to humans? Every time we try, they hit us, swat us, shoo us away.

So what will I do? I will sit back, relax and watch the play unfold. Hearts will be broken, love will be lost and at these times, we must only hope that we do not have to resort to the gory stories of what happens when a heart is damaged beyond repair. What is it they say? “Hell hath no fury like a ‘fresher’ scorned”

See you next week.

Written by Kanyinsola Ojeshina.

Glamsquad

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