There are quite a lot of single men available for marriage and willing to find women who are ready for marriage too, so single women don’t have to keep hanging around and out with married men. It is very important however, to know that it’s one thing to be available and another to be equipped to face what you think you are available for.
I know that while there are a lot single, available men out there, only a few of them are of noble character. Majority of men these days, are out of character and if nothing is done to bring awareness to my fellow men, things will definitely get worse than they are at the moment.
How bad are things now? So bad that it seems we have more male prostitutes in Nigeria than in the entire continent put together. Do you know that we now have men who sell sex for money? It’s even becoming a big market in the country. These men sleep with their mothers’ age mates and get paid for it! University graduates and some under-graduates are also involved. They are aged between 19 and 38 while the women who patronise them are usually aged between 32 and 60 and most of them are married. Their husbands must be really busy and so absent. It’s a pity that what goes round really comes around.
Why male prostitution? Could it be because of the poverty level in the land? That’s the main excuse most of these men give. One actually thought he was
making sense when he argued with me, asking me how he was going to pay his school fees if he didn’t indulge in such a criminal act. Is it really due to poverty like most of these young men claim? I don’t think so. I believe some Nigerians are just criminal minded. That’s why people say they are hungry and the first thing they think of doing is look for where and who to steal from\ instead of looking for where to meet their needs legitimately like people do in China, Japan, India and Ghana.
People say they are hungry so they sell rail protectors on highways and bridges that the country’s rulers may not be able to replace because they themselves contribute to the problem – they become ‘oluso agutan’ to ‘oluje agutan’ i.e. from people who should watch over the sheep to the ones who eat up the sheep! People say they are hungry, so they steal and sell head lamps of cars parked in their neighborhoods. People say they are hungry so they sell fake drugs knowing that such acts will lead to several deaths. People say they are hungry so they steal public funds to enrich their own pockets and the rest of the people wonder why God has not made provisions as he promised His people He will. People say hunger is the reason they commit crime. People ought to be asking themselves constructive questions like: Who am I? Why am I here at this time? What can I offer to make a difference in the lives of people around me? What are the needs of people and where and how do I come in?When you serve people legitimately, you will definitely be paid for making a difference, no matter how little you might get at the beginning. Is this really a poverty problem or a criminal problem?
What does a man sleeping around with women for money become eventually? A NOBODY! He will never be able to stand in the days that real men will stand. I believe we can turn our economy around like other progressive countries of the world have done, when we sincerely begin to seek ways to meet people’s needs legitimately and get rewarded for it. Today, people plan events and get paid. Others stand in front of a crowd, make them laugh and get paid. I match make, coach, and counsel. The days and times may be rough but they have brought out the best in some of us. What about you? What do people pay you to do?
We need to draw the attention of our leaders to the pathetic state of some Nigerian men. Most of them attend churches and I wonder why their lives are not changed. Most churches give negative attention to women anyway. Negative because most of what is talked about in such places has to do with women doing more to win their men over. I wonder who is teaching men how to win their women over!
Women are taught how to submit and submit and submit until they die in the process. Nothing seems to have really changed because nobody seems to be addressing men and telling them the truth to their faces. So, our women do their best but their best does not seem to be good enough because many men are left to continue in their irresponsible way of life. When a male child is born, there are shouts of “Mama, na boy!” Truth is: what if the baby is a boy? How much does he eventually contribute to the development of that famiily? Many females are doing a lot better. Is it not better to have a progressive-minded girl child than to have a male child who becomes a prostitute or one who goes into internet fraud or carries guns or worse still, one who does nothing but milk women around him without any iota of shame? Before we blame him, let us ask how his parents trained him. His parents said he was a boy so, he should not do household chores – sweep the floor, wash plates or even cook. He became useless right from the very beginning. And, his sister? Oh, she did all the work and she’s a lot better for it today.
Most people can tell that women are forging ahead these days – as managing directors of banks, directors general of parastatals, ministers and who knows, one of them might become president soon. This is because, wherever you find them, they are working with passion and earn their positions by merit.
In the past, we accused women of using ‘bottom power’ but no more. They have come to realize that they can leave that to men who now make money by sleeping with dishonorable women old enough to be their mothers; looking for cheap popularity by appearing in one soft sell magazine or the other. While women of virtue are forging ahead, some men are living with an entitlement mentality, waiting to milk these poor women of what they worked hard for because these young men believe that the women got their wealth by sleeping with other men! Men, wake up! Women are working legitimately for their money now.
The most disheartening part is that some Nollywood super stars are involved in prostituting with sugar mummies! Stars from other areas of the entertainment industry are not left out too. Role models indeed! I know we still have some men of honor left in the land. May they be role models for our sons, hope for our daughters and pillars for our society.